01 April 2009

Which is harder starting over or Magnetohydrodynamics?

Why do people stay in relationships where they are obviously NOT happy, satisfied, or unsure of their future with the current partner? Could you be wasting your time with them when the "right one" could be out there somewhere?

This is tricky because it is not very easy to find the "right one" these days. Safety, insecurity, finance, and the change factor all play a big part in this search.

The worst and best part of a relationship is the part where you have to find out all about someone new all over again. I think this is the main reason why people choose to stick it out in relationships. Let's face it there are some frightening people out there.

Years ago all we really had to worry about is if they come from a good family, have morals and ambition. Now-a-days we have to #1, I mean first, first, first find out their HIV/AIDS status, sexual history, is there a spouse and kids at home, and if they ever killed people under another name (background checks are easy to do).

If you find out that your significant other cheated on you, it's not just the betrayal you have to deal with. Rebuilding trust is a lot harder than building it the first time around. People make mistakes and it is not a sin to forgive someone who has cheated but you have to remember there is a lot of sh*t out there that either has no cure or has no name.
Be smart.

We cannot pass all the blame on the other party. Insecurity is a major reason why people won't leave their current relationship in search of a "better one". Will someone else respect you, find you attractive, and treat you right? If you have a poor self-image you can't expect someone else to appreciate your qualities. You have to stand firm and be confident of yourself.
Financial stabilization is an important factor of life, true. He/she may be able to give you just about anything with a price tag but what about the things that are intangible. You must know if you can be bought and sold.

The change factor. How many people believe they have the ability to change the person they are with? Point blank you can't change anyone who does not want to change. In trying to change the other person you are probably slowly losing yourself. If you begin to overlook things that at one point you would not stand for, you are slipping away into the world of someone else's bullsh*t. For example, you think to yourself that he/she may stop or start doing something if you stop nagging. This can actually go either way, the person may wonder why you stopped nagging and become more aware there is an issue. Or the downside, they may think it is ok to continue since the nagging stopped.  

It is hard to keep up with our own personal likes and dislike as far fetched as some of them may be but then to alter your life to accommodate someone else's preferences is equally as hard.
Strange things occur everyday in our relationships to make us wonder why we are settling when we know there is so much more out there. But you have to wonder what constitutes to "more"? Is it being told I Love You hourly, going to the dinner and the movies twice a month, constant attention or is it a combination of all of these things? Relationships can be very trying when you want more out of a person who either won't give more, can't give more, doesn't have anything more to give or doesn't know how to give more. Is it fair to suffer with a person who you are giving your all to and getting far less because you love them?

No comments: